So this is a thing that I’ve apparently either internalized, externalized, or possibly both at the same time.
It’s where, whatever happens, I somehow manage to work into the conversation that I am “really old” and that I “never do anything anymore.” Like my coworker will say, “I’m thinking of going out tonight” and I’ll say “oh yeah, I remember when I used to do that all the time.” Or I’ll see kids in the subway (kids? kids.) who are maybe 20 and maybe go to NYU and maybe remind me of myself 5 years ago and then I have to stop myself and say, “WHOA 5 years ago,” and really remind myself that 5 years ago I was in a totally different place in my life and really my biggest concerns were girls and parties and lit classes and it didn’t matter if I stayed out til 3 AM on saturdays because it’s not like I had a full-time job anyway. Also I lived in the middle of nowhere but who’s counting …
And like — maybe those were also my biggest concerns 6 months ago, but again, who’s really counting?
ANYWAY! I’m allowed to drink Bud Light Lime-o-rita in my room alone if I have to work a double shift from Saturday night to Sunday morning. And I’m allowed to be annoyed at getting carded everywhere with people saying “you have a baby face” when I feel as old as time itself and when I have 1000% completely been through and done, a good amount of shit, that most people will never even have the opportunity to understand. IT AGES A MAN, do you feel me?
Time to grow 6 inches*, get a beard, and run a half-marathon for good measure. If it was really like that you’d probably understand better.
So thesis summation I AM OLD and possibly technically illegal in the world of Tumblr. Which BY THE WAY I’ve had for 3 years, so not trying to pull out my old elitist trick of “I was here first” but i seriously WAS, so no offense but I’m onto the next thing you guys. And like — I’ll see you THERE in three years when you all figure it out.
(Just because I’m old as the world don’t mean I don’t still got the bite, am I wrong!?
[no Walter you’re not wrong you’re just an asshole]
points for the reference.)
so goodnight from the oldest 25 yr old to ever live, Sam
*to be fair, I am of above-average male height and taller than several men I know, at the astounding total of 5’9 1/2.